HELP, MY CHILD DOESN'T PRACTICE!

Imagine this. You've just gotten a puppy dog. She's sitting there, fluffy tail wagging, her warm eyes gazing lovingly at you. You've seen videos of people playing fetch with their dog, and you're so ready to do the same with your new pal. You grab your freshly store-bought, chew-safe stick and you throw it with all your might across the room. You pup runs over, chomps on the stick, and takes it to the nearest corner to explore it with all corners of her mouth as you stand there scratching your head.

Wait, aren't all dogs supposed to know how to fetch?

Did you know that most dogs actually have to be taught how to play fetch? I mean, they might bring it back to you here and there when they feel like it, but for them to consistently bring it back to you for a convincing game of fetch? It usually takes a little bit of positive reinforcement training.

Now, picture your child. Or maybe you don't have to, because they're sitting right in front of you as you read this. They've gone to their first music lesson. They might've said the lesson was fun, or that they really love their new instrument. You ask if they'll practice, and they say yes. But lo and behold, that expensive thing you bought for them sits there gathering dust as your child decides that watching TV is a more time-worthy pursuit. You nag and they whine.

"It's boring."

"I don't know what to do."

Both are very valid points. Proper practice is, well, kind of boring. You're playing the same thing over and over until you get better, but it takes a while for a young learner to comprehend this concept. The latter point is hopefully addressed by the teacher; making clear what to practice is as important as how to practice.

Some kids pick up on the fact that playing something over and over leads to them mastering a particular piece they wanted to play. It creates a self-fulfilling cycle and it works for them. For others, even though they do truly enjoy playing the instrument, find the whole idea of practice overwhelming, and no amount of nagging will get them to do it.

Assuming they have a good amount of stimulating material to play, there's a plethora of ways to get a child to practice. Positive reinforcement is usually quite effective.

"If you practice, then you get a reward."

It is preferable than negative reinforcement. Creating trauma from practice should be avoided. While it may seem to work for a short while, the inevitable cycle of negativity destroys any chance of a meaningful musical connection between the student, instrument, parent, and the teacher.

However, one surprisingly simple way of motivating a student to practice is this: for the parent to be involved in the practice.

"But I don't have any musical skills to help!" is what you might be saying, but your musical abilities are not exactly what's required here. All you have to do is sit with your child. There are no other distractions; just you, your child, and the music. Listen intently to what they play. Ask questions. Get them to show you what they've learnt. Give them a little applause and get them to take a bow after playing a piece exceptionally well.

Create early successes for the young learner!

Ask them to play a song or section more than just a couple times (this may need a little convincing), but let them know that they're doing a great job regardless of execution. You could even chat about non-music things just for the sake of chatting. In short, hand them the stage and shine the spotlight on them.

Realistically, 10 minutes of mindful practice a couple times a week beats 30 minutes of ho-humming, and certainly better than none at all!

For a young student, all we are doing is showing them that the act of practicing music is a great thing, a chance for them to connect with people in a unique way. We are instilling the habit of practicing, which is of utmost importance.

Because the foremost reason children don't practice is because it is a devastatingly lonely activity.

Imagine being put in a room by yourself with a small boulder in the middle, and the supervisor tells you to repeatedly lift and drop it to the floor. Lift, drop. Lift, drop. What they don't tell you is that eventually the boulder will crack open the floor and the room below is full of candy, and either way, who knows, it might take days, weeks before that actually happens. I know I'd give up the moment the first blister pops up.

On occasion there comes a child who absolutely loves practicing, and relishes the moments alone where they can sit and play away to their hearts content. But such individuals are rare and are certainly not the norm.

Let's face it. In this day and age, both parents and children are feeling more and more strapped for time. Efficiency is key!

It may takes months or years, but the student will eventually be used to practicing and might even ask you to leave them be as they practice. You are essentially their training wheels as they get through the initial lonely slog, but after a while, they will hopefully understand the point of the exercise and have enough technique under their belt to be motivated to practice to achieve their own goals. And keep in mind, a combination of methods usually works best in motivating your child to practice.